Superhero Pitch – Toxic Masculinity Man

Superhero Pitch – Toxic Masculinity Man

CTK Media: We’re funny here! Alright guys! Listen up Superheroes are hot right now problem is most of these superheroes
are ridiculously over powered and have next to no limitations so what we need to do is
create a new one what have we got? What if they can only use their powers under certain
conditions? Alright go on How about someone who could control time but only for a 10 minute window? How about super speed? No that’s been done but it only works when they run backwards Yeah! Wait, what? How about someone who could whatever they draw it comes to life Alright! Yeah, yeah! I like that but…they could only draw dicks! Yes that’s the one no, it’s not, no…NO! Immortality No boring, immortalities been done to death literally with Wolverine but they have no will to live ooh that’s dark and they’re a virgin the entire time ooh that’s good Guys I think you’re really missing the point here Knowing stock market crashes Alright yeah that could work like
Wolf of Wallstreet but a comic book right? But from 5 years ago No! Because you could just Google that Yeah sure They can turn sound into energy blasts but they’re deaf make clothes disappear but only at funerals and in prisons I love it orange is the new uh-oh I can see
your underwear I’ve got one, imagine being able to pay for absolutely anything but with
a single coin Yes! See that’s why this guy is on this team but you look like Scrooge
Mcduck Why are you doing this to me? You could harness the power of the force This idea has to be completely original but you can only do this at Startrek conventions Oooh savage! OK I’ve got it, you can shape shift into yourself except slightly shorter That is amazing! No just please make me a superhero make me a super hero make him super
strong, super fast, super flexible, super slippery, super spikey, super hot, make him
invulnerable, invisible and impenetrable just make me a super hero godamnit, please erm, him? Yeah why? Why does it have to be a him? Oh why does it have to be a guy? Because he’s
a super hero duh! Right? Come on guys? Right? Oh yeah and one more thing, please do not
make him any darker than a well braised chicken we actually want to sell comic books to these

David Anderson

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