Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – Sticks & Flowers

Joel: Okay, you want to know the worst thing that can happen to a man ever Blaine: Okay Joel: So I’ve had some issues and boy when you get old it’s fun. So I had had to have a scoping of my bladder That’s when they take a camera and they put it into your bladder Blaine: How did they get the… Joel: Okay, oh Blaine. Huh, how do they get a camera in there? If you ask me, I’d rather they just stab me in my heart and then inject it through that, but that’s not how they do it apparently How they do it is you go into the room and there are these things hanging from the wall They’re the most horrible things you’ve ever seen in your life And then there’s a chair and then you sit down in the chair, and then a guy comes in the room He goes, “Oh you got to take your pants off now under the blanket.” And you go, “Oh okay.” And he’s like, “Are you allergic to Iodine?” and I’m like “Well I haven’t even met you before.”
And then he put iodine on your things. The first guy was like, “Look I’m not gonna lie to you. This isn’t going to be great” Blaine: Oh “but it’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be.” And then the doctor comes in and then he goes, “Hey” “Did you see that basketball game last night?” And that’s where they have you because that’s where they’ve started the lie. Once the doctor starts to lie you’re like, “Oh, yes doctor I did see the basketball…” Boom. And that’s when they go in for the kill. Like he’s tricking you like he’s distracting you It’s like ‘Oh, I’m interested in basketball’ BIGGEST PAIN I’VE EVER FELT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. BIGGEST PAIN I’VE EVER- And fuck you, people who give birth “Oh giving birth to children is so hard.” No fuck you. It’s not, okay? What men have to go through… Let me tell you something about mathematical ratios It’s this big. It’s this big and it’s not meant to get bigger. You guys are meant to get big You’re flowers. You bloom. You fuckers are flowers. We are not fucking flowers. We’re fucking sticks You don’t stick a stick inside another stick! That’s not where sticks are supposed to go. No one goes, “Hey there’s a stick lets put a stick inside of it.” That’s against nature. That’s the other thing too is like I’m thinking to myself like man these fuckers have to sit there and do this shit to people all fucking day long. That’s their job It’s like ‘Oh here comes another thing we gotta stick a stick in it. Now I gotta explain to the stick that it’s not gonna be fun.’

David Anderson

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