“José Jalapeño on immigration” | Spark of Insanity | JEFF DUNHAM

– Good evening, José – Hola, Señor Jeff – Alright. It’s, it’s good to see,
it’s good to see you – Gracias, Señor Jeff – ‘Scuse me – What? – Who the hell is “heff”? (crowd laughs) – He said “Jeff” – No, he said “heff” – It’s the same thing – Uh, no, it’s not José, what’d you say? – I say Señor Jeff – What the fu– now he says “hhhheff” (crowd laughs) – It’s all the same – Wha– didn’t you watch Sesame Street? (crowd laughs) Jeff is Jeff, heff is
heff, and hhheff is hhheff (singing) One of these things
just doesn’t belong here (crowd laughs) Tonight’s show is sponsored
by the sound HHHHH – I’m sorry, José – It’s okay – Okay – He’s an idiot You’re on a stick! Stick-k-k Jeff-fa-fa Ha ha haaa (crowd laughs) I have a question for Josee (crowd applauds) – My name is José – Oh, I’m sorry, I
thought we were in America speakin frikkin English. But I didn’t see the little
checka over the E, which magically changes Josee into fuckin José. And I didn’t see the nya
over the N which changes Jalapeeno into hhhhalapeño. Send a nya over the N
and a checka over the E, two keys I can never fuckin
find on a fuckin keyboard. (crowd applauds) Apparently it’s a secret
known only to the Mexicans. So José, when you’re
typing, ooh oh I’m sorry, talk about hunt and peck! – I’m sorry José – It’s okay, I’m going to
hire Achmed to kill him – So what’s your question, and be nice – Okay. Um, you’re a Jalapeño – Sí, Señor. On a stick. – Right! You’re a Mexican Jalapeño – On a stick – Right! Are you a legal Mexican Jalapeño? What, what’d I say? – This is not the appropriate
time and place to ask it – Too late ahahahaha! So is that illegal illegal
illegal illegal legal legal illegal legal le le le . . . What? – I know the answer to the question – What? – José? – Sí, Señor – Are you legal to be in this country? – Sí, Señor – Okay – I have my green card – Ah – Where is your green card? – It’s in my other stick (crowd laughs) (outro music)

David Anderson

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