Honest Trailers – Batman: The Animated Series


Before he was swole Before he was existentially depressed and before he was a cartoon “Never leave the cave without it” He was a swole existentially depressed literal cartoon in Batman the Animated Series Return to a time when pop culture wasn’t oversaturated with superheroes, “They sell t-shirts of me. I’ve become a cliché.” Animation still ruled after school and dial-up internet gave us a few precious minutes offline *boopy beepy noises* And spend some time with Kevin Conroy’s iconic Bruce Wayne An industrialist with the money of Tony Stark and the fashion sense of Dwight Schrute But when night falls, this punch-a-holic will become the Batman, the world’s greatest detective who’s also the world’s greatest ninja greatest hacker, “I’ve accessed Gotham’s electrical mainframe.” “There’s another computer uplink to this one” “I’m tracing the link now” greatest magician “You’ve got the makings of a great magician” and the greatest… ventriloquist? “When I studied with Zatara The Magician, he taught me about ventriloquism.” Wow, this Batman does a lot. But does he… dance? But this cape isn’t crusading solo. He has a whole cave full of allies Like Alfred Pennyworth, Butler of Batman, but king of sick burns. “Clayface is losing his integrity” “I wasn’t aware he ever had any to begin with.” Ohhhhhhhh! Robin, the Boy Wonder. As in, boy I wonder what screwed him up between this show and Titans. “YAHOOO!”” “F*** Batman.” Batgirl, a college kid whose relationship with Bats is super creepy after seeing The Killing Joke movie. “Barbara, come in” “You’ve grown” Ewwwwwuyh! And Commissioner Gordon, a humble civil servant tormented by a billionaire psychopath determined to drive him insane “Batman!” “Busy night?” *gasp* “Helen, get me-” *gasp* “We need to talk” *gasp* “Nigma’s making a comeback.” Come on, give him a break, Bats. We all know you’re a ninja, you don’t have to keep proving it to Grandpa Cop, alright? jeezzz Together, they’ll protect Gotham. A city trapped somewhere between 1932 and 1992 A town where the crime is up, the nights are long, and the people are rectangles It’s a city under siege for the best rogues gallery in animation history Featuring character defining portrayals of Two-Face. “You’re talkin’ to the wrong Harvey.” Mr. Freeze. “To never again walk on a summer’s day with a hot wind in your face. And a warm hand to hold.” Harley Quinn. “Harley Quinn, pleased to meetcha.” The best Joker ever. Yeah, I said it. And a bat menageries worth of animals Jeez Batman. Maybe you should stick to something less threatening? Like a penguin. “Now, Roberta!” “Nice shot.” “We did it!” So light up the bat-signal, and revisit the highs “I am vengeance.” “I am the night!” “I am Batman!” And the lows. “You’ve made her a monster!” “I believe she would disagree.” of the darkest adaptation of Batman ever made. Literally the darkest because they drew it on black paper that wasn’t afraid to hit kids with complex philosophy “Santayana says that those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.” Then break it up with a guy kicking a werewolf in the face “If it’s a fight you’re looking for, try starting one with me!” See DC, that’s all we want. A definitive portrait of a beloved character that balances multiple tones across dozens of hours that can only happen with a perfect creative team and lands at the perfect time in the cultural zeitgeist. Is that so hard? “Listen up scum wad.” “Here’s how it works, slimeball.” “Alright scum bucket.” “Too late dirtbag.” “What do you want?” “Has Professor Crane lost his appetite?” *startled noise* “Who’s back there?” “You…” “Gas attack!” “Hey!” “Stop shooting, you lunatic!” “We’re sitting on a powder keg!” And Batmanthumbsup.gif Nope, the other one. That’s the one! Okay, we need to talk about the intro for a sec Has anyone else noticed that the crooks are just two guys who happen to be walking past the bank at night? Then when the entrance explodes, they run away like any sane person would do? They don’t even have any loot on ’em! Sure, fine, they pull guns on Batman. But for all they know, he’s the psycho going around blowing up banks! And Batman doesn’t know who did it either, he had to drive there! But does that stop him from beating the crap out of ’em and leavin’ ’em for the cops? Without any evidence to convict ’em on? This is vigilantes are a bad idea, you guys. *reads comments*

David Anderson

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