Historically Accurate Disney Princess Song – Rachel Bloom

Historically Accurate Disney Princess Song – Rachel Bloom


Oh, birds! AT SUNSET I WANDER THROUGH THE VILLAGE. GLOWING IN THE TWILIGHT AND SO QUIET. WELL, IT’S QUIET ‘CAUSE MOST PEOPLE DIED OF
A PLAGUE CAUSED BY JEALOUS WITCHES. I WANDER THROUGH THE VILLAGE AND I THINK
THAT MY LIFE IS MISSING SOMETHING DEAR AS I STOP TO REST AND COUGH UP BLOOD I WONDER:
WHEN WILL I FIND MY PRINCE? I WANDER THROUGH THE VILLAGE AND I NOTICE
THAT EVERYONE BUT ME HAS FOUND A LOVE. THERE GOES THE BLACKSMITH WITH HIS DAUGHTER/WIFE
TEN YEARS OLD AND PREGNANT WITH HER BROTHER/SON. I WANDER THROUGH THE VILLAGE SIGHING DEEPLY. SEEKING GUIDANCE FROM THE STATUE IN THE SQUARE. IT’S A STATUE OF CHRIST ADORNED WITH THIEF
HANDS OH WHEN WILL I FIND MY PRINCE? Oh look, everyone, it’s my friends from the
forest, the Jews. Hello, Jews! You know, I never did ask you: why do you
live in the forest? Oh, I see, to hide from people trying to kill
you. Well that’s very resourceful, my beaky little
friends. Tell me: have you ever had a dream that wouldn’t
come true? Oh, I see, your dream is that people WON’T
want to kill you. Well, that’s definitely a dream that won’t
come true! Oh, goodbye, goodbye! Jews. OHHHHH IF I FOUND MY PRINCE
WE’D HAVE A WEDDING ELEGANT AND RARE. WE’D DINE ON KIDNEY CREAM AND HORSE VAGINA
DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND TORTURE A BEAR. OHHHHHH IF I FOUND MY PRINCE
THE CASTLE WOULD BE FILLED WITH LOVE AND LAUGHTER AND HE’D FILL ME WITH HIS SEED, FORCIBLY AND
ROUGH I’D GIVE BIRTH TO A SON AND THEN DIE RIGHT
AFTER! I WANDER THROUGH THE VILLAGE SEEKING ANSWERS. BUT LOVE HASN’T GIVEN ME A GLIMPSE! IT ISN’T IN THIS SHOP OR IN THIS CART OF BABY
CORPSES OH, WHEN WILL I FIND MY PRINCE? WHEN, HAND JESUS?! OH, WHEN WILL I FIND MY PRINCE?? Oh, it’s my prince! Hello! (COUGH) Oh fuck.

David Anderson

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100 thoughts on “Historically Accurate Disney Princess Song – Rachel Bloom

  1. Mike Richard says:

    France only recently passed a law for " age of consent".

  2. lmao lmao says:

    Awwww this was my childhood

  3. Just a youtube commenter says:

    Man, the first draft of "Slumbered" was really fucked up…

  4. Lily Pytel says:

    This is as genius as it is hilarious. You are amazing!!!

  5. Lily says:

    anastasia? never heard of her.

  6. Dinoghost Rick says:

    I Jewish and this is so fucking funny.

  7. Spacewarp Photography says:

    Now that. Was. FUNNY.

  8. Alice Borioni says:

    Amo questa canzone… dio mio un capolavoro

  9. Dolfy Mitler says:

    This Video is antisemitic it is mandatory to close it down

  10. Perticular Panda says:

    This is most accurate

  11. Perticular Panda says:

    1:21–1:48 XD

  12. Teamations Animation says:

    I'm Jewish do the Jewish part killed me

  13. Shasta Brown says:

    I haven't watched this in like 3 years and I still remember it

  14. AnonymousPotato 52 says:

    WHEN, HAND JESUS?

  15. lanora elliott says:

    This was so f*** up in many ways. 😨😨😨😱😱😱😵😵😵😖😖😖😓😓😓😫😫😫

  16. Hilton 134 says:

    did yall see Aladin get his hands get cut off

  17. Hilton 134 says:

    did yall see Aladin get his hands get cut off

  18. 2 Gun Salute Cullum says:

    1 JEAULOUS BITCH, 2 JEALOUS BITCH, 3 JEAULOUS BITCH…..

  19. Jackson DeStefano says:

    Holy shit this was Rachel? I watched this video on cracked so much

  20. RockHoppr3 says:

    Rachel Bloom is best princess?

  21. Jamie Riley says:

    Rachel Bloom and Cracked, how awesome. And I miss when Cracked was good, you know?

  22. Claire Field says:

    Lmfao I watched this on cracked years ago, no idea Rachel Bloom sang this

  23. Dom_ Dom says:

    2:50 do u kill everyday or something what’s with the oh fuck

  24. JamesM. says:

    The funniest part is at the end, when the Prince drops dead and she goes #"@%! Makes me laugh every time

  25. Thamilini says:

    Glad I didn’t watch this when I was 11, because I would miss out on so many levels of humour in this accurate representation. Oh, and btw «Ahh f*ck»

  26. Agreste-ive much? says:

    I saw this forever ago, I had no clue it was Rachel!

  27. Adrian Williams says:

    This is just ignorant about different issues

  28. Grucci Gru says:

    Those damn Jews!

  29. Iüruğdüksğıdddsssjjahsgg Losllakaksksalsllslslslksk says:

    I want fu*k you princess 👉👌❤️

  30. qnaman says:

    pregnant 10 years old- bullshit. Maybe in india, but not in medieval europe.

  31. hewho livesbythechallenge says:

    Truly a grand time in youtube

  32. Vlog Lobster says:

    She gives us stuff like this

    And then there's My Sex Junk.

  33. Sarah Freed says:

    I can't stop watching this

  34. Merry G. says:

    Actually most of jews are very racist. :^/

  35. David Galán says:

    I had no idea that this was created by Rachel Bloom

  36. Sama Lass says:

    I'm pretty sure you stole this.

  37. RobloxBoiLHY says:

    i am jeuse

  38. RockHoppr3 says:

    Plot twist: this is actually a scene from Slumbered, Rebecca Bunch's favorite film.

  39. prageruwu ! says:

    i love how ironic the jew part is now that rachel bloom plays a jewish woman in her show

  40. Beau Swan says:

    Is this from the movie SLUMBERED?

  41. VNRose3 says:

    and we thought there could be nothing beyond South Park. Ha !

  42. Callous Derpallous says:

    I love this channel.

  43. savannah erickson says:

    man how did I not know this was rachel bloom

  44. Tay R-B says:

    I FORGOT ABOUT THIS VIDEO

  45. Düşürmeyen Boşluk says:

    Şuna tr altyazı yapın pls

  46. Nicolas Vincent says:

    "Hand Jesus" got me good.

  47. karosonj1 says:

    Back in the day, when vaccines weren't needed! 🤗

    (Sarcasm)

  48. Valerio Gigante says:

    Omg I loved this as a teenager and now I'm just realizing that you, the most amazing person ever, is the singer!

  49. T.L B says:

    One word: Dark. Seriously dark.

  50. Meredith Richardson says:

    I was born in the RIGHT century!!!

  51. Buchanan Winchester says:

    Now I realize that this is the first video I’ve watched from Rachel before actively knowing it was her.

  52. Mahogany K says:

    Died at the jews part. Love being Jewish cause it means I can laugh, and yeah yall can laugh if u aren't Jewish too😂😂😂

  53. Scooby Da Dawg says:

    Why does she have to cough up blood
    And wtf 10 yes old with her brothers son

  54. Scooby Da Dawg says:

    How does she know she’s gonna have a son

  55. Scooby Da Dawg says:

    This is really funny tho

  56. Book Lover says:

    and now i must watch gastoooon

  57. Ah Yes Enslaved Videos says:

    Lol

  58. Priscella says:

    🤗 I effin Love you Rachel, you sick @!#$ 🤗, More, please

  59. Ali Dangou says:

    then the jews escaped to the middle east got their shit together controlled europe and fucked over the middle east to take their anger on something

  60. Lyra Saruman says:

    I am only now finding out this is Rachel Bloom…..

  61. Rick Morty says:

    I saw thing years ago. And not realize it's same girl as crazy ex girlfriend

  62. Girafarig's Butt says:

    Omg I used to watch this all the time. Now I started watching CeG and I found out it was the same person :0

  63. Abbie O brien says:

    I remember watching this when I was little and loosing my shit because I found it so funny. It’s so amazing to come back and realise it ties in with one of my current interests!!

  64. Emon Ahmed says:

    I'm sorry but this music is sick 😷

  65. Sam Bruno says:

    This was so accurate and true

  66. Francis Glasco says:

    Clara from draw together

  67. Shawn Serwinowski says:

    Win his heart…. Hewillworshipyou.com … I'm sure this is completely Rachel Bloom approved. Dang YouTube, what a terrible ad choice.

  68. Luis Rodriguez says:

    I laughed harder at Jews then I should have and that that my grandfather was one lol

  69. Dean says:

    The jew is like the guy who gets thrown out of every bar he inhabits in his life, but always blames the bartender.

  70. Maia Smith says:

    Im pretty sure there were no free standing statues of christ. (Thou shalt not create a graven image) I could be wrong though.

  71. Lauren :) says:

    Just found out that Rachel did this! Love her even more now.

  72. repetitive reality says:

    Ok, THIS it's going somewhere.Namaste

  73. Business Fish says:

    it blew my mind when I found out this was by Rachel, this is one of my favourite things on the internet ever, i became a massive crazy ex girlfriend fan about 6 months ago, Rachel Bloom is a bright star in this world <3

  74. Yuval Inbar says:

    1:50 Bambi's fur 🙁

  75. Dara T. says:

    F**k me, @racheldoesstuff

  76. R7 Ahtesham says:

    I am not sure if you are related to the channel cracked but this is not the original video.
    https://youtu.be/jwA1VeYpvaM

    A link to the original video

  77. Mefi says:

    "When, Hand Jesus?"

  78. PopulousClone says:

    JeWs 👀👁

  79. ucity metalhead says:

    I swear i seen pummba and the raccoon from pocahontas in there.

  80. Lena R says:

    Whoa I saw this when I was younger..didnt realise Rachel did this

  81. Syabila Azri says:

    Well….that explain how she got a job in my little pony…

  82. ysa :P says:

    I like to imagine that this is one of the songs in Slumbered.

  83. Amy Erlanger says:

    Oh my god this was her?!

  84. Amy Erlanger says:

    I'm Jewish and my friend always quotes the jew bit.

    She's lucky I find it funny.

  85. Styxshekelclanker6000000 says:

    BASED AN REDPILLED

  86. Magdalena Dampc says:

    ❤❤❤💕💕❤❤❤

  87. Nemo TheEight says:

    Forgot about destroying pagan places of cult, slaughtering people having knowledge about pagan religions and smashing out teeth for not obeying fastings.

  88. Marlee Ebbert says:

    Hand Jesus XD

  89. AndWhatIsThisNow says:

    Was that the little monkey from Aladdin?

  90. Cthonis Princess says:

    The ironic thing is- this really isn’t all that accurate and is just playing off historical stereotypes.

  91. ysa :P says:

    I'm just gonna go ahead and make it my headcanon that this is from Slumbered

  92. sequorroxx says:

    Can't believe someone had to send me this. Youtube's algo is slipping.

  93. beba 021 says:

    i dont like the part 10 year old wife pregnant,pls erase that, if were 14 or 15 it will be kinda ok pls dont do that its gross

  94. Zack Stark says:

    1:47

  95. Bailey Matheny says:

    Game of Thrones: The Musical

  96. Caleb Gadow says:

    HOLY HELL I REMEMBER THIS SHIT

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